Is love too much to ask for?

Yesterday I had more than 143 songs in my liked songs, now I am left with only one. Some of them expressed things my words couldn’t. But maybe some people are just destined to write down things they can never have.

Being hurt in love is like is like a disability. People will give you sympathy but that's not what you want. You want to be loved not replaced. It's like having your leg or arm amputated you feel like you would have been happy if you just didn't exist.

The world seemed fair and just with her being “the one”. I didn’t need reason to stay happy, checking if there was a text from her first thing in the morning turned into a habit. We laughed, we shared, we did silly things, explored places while holding hands. It was fast but we were happy, I thought it was the first of many and thanked the universe for everything but now….

After our first date, I told her things like “Every bit of imperfection within you, makes up to be who you are". She replied “Maybe I am still not over that guy”. Trust me it shook my whole world apart, I just wanted to disappear but unfortunately I don’t have that superpower, yet. I had so much love to offer that I forgot the other person has to be equally willing. It took every bit of strength inside to get on the metro that would take me home. While I was being eaten apart by my own thoughts.

If only we humans had invented something by now that would let her see what I see in her, maybe then she would realise that her demons don't even stand a chance in front of me. I believe no person is free from their inner chronic judgemental self that judges themselves the most. I was on a journey to find myself and strangely enough, when I started looking inside, I found her carrying all of my missing pieces.

For I had a lot to give but also wanted to be called hers. For I have already lost so much, that I got tired of stagnant things and wanted to be a vagabond but had found peace with her being my constant. And I wonder if it’s all lost now.